So often, to disciple teens just means making the most of a moment.
We’re training their hearts to engage, connecting their faith with everything: from the cashier at McDonald’s to the bully who slams my kid’s locker on their fingers.
I hear this concept all over Deuteronomy 6:
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
I hear, Talk about them on the way home from football practice, or as they walk out the door for the SAT. Chat about God over spaghetti and corn on the cob.
Versify.
I am openly bribing my kids as they memorize verses on this app. It’s working.
Quick morning devotional.
I read to my kids out of Tim Keller’s God’s Wisdom for Navigating Life: A Year of Daily Devotions in the Book of Proverbs while my kids are snarfing down eggs or looking for the other tennis shoe, i.e. about three minutes. There’s a closing prayer, too.
Ask them how you can pray for them. Then ask how it’s going.
Genuine prayer feels like a great way for me to internalize God’s heart and desires for them right now. Sometimes I’m surprised by their answers.
Depending on the kid, sometimes I text them verses I’m praying for them any given day. I may also ask if I can pray with them after we’ve talked about something hard, or to thank God for something they’re excited about.
Keep them talking.
Speaking of open bribing: I take my kids to a coffee shop of their choice. An overpriced coffee buys me an hour of conversation with them. Some of those conversations haven’t been easy; sometimes just thinking of the Starbucks lobby can make me twitchy with all the water under that bridge.
But if I lose our ability to talk about what’s real, I lose passport into what matters for them. Totally worth a six dollar nitro cold brew.
For me–though maybe you’ll declare I have zero boundaries–this means being available when my teens want to talk. Which is so often when I’m ready for some shut-eye or Netflix, or even when I’m in the middle of writing an email.
No, I don’t want to raise self-centered kids. And sometimes I need to ask if we can delay a conversation, especially if getting out of fight/flight/freeze would create much shorter conversations, greatly reduced drama, and wiser decision-making.
But being available is part of the price I’m willing to pay so I keep getting invited in, and keep getting to disciple my teens by knowing what’s really going on in their worlds.
On the way to church, ask what they’re thankful for that week.
On the way home, ask them about the sermon.
Disciple teens by talking about what’s hot right now.
I love Axis’ Culture Translator for parents, which lands in my inbox every Friday. It’s how I knew Taylor Swift might have gone through a breakup recently, which I knew my daughter would be thinking about.
And my daughter’s eyes lit up when I asked about something in her world.
Axis’ questions sometimes give me good springboards to talk about cultural issues or lingo or popular memes, and continue to draw the dotted line to Jesus–without being weird.
Grab 31 Conversation Starters for Teens, to Talk About What’s Real.
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