What are you looking for?

So usually I’m squirreling away posts with ideas in case you’re stomping through some of the same territory I am: Kids failing a band audition (and helping them deal with failure). Teens whose choices scare the crap out of you. Wondering if you’re burning out.

But every now and then, maybe some of you want an update on my life this side of the screen. (Maybe you don’t.)

So here’s a list of 10 things swirling around in my life right now.

1. I’m a week and a half from my deadline with Zondervan.

Speaking of things that scare the crap out of a girl. (Pardon the use of “crap” twice in one post.)

For Christmas, my husband sent me on another personal retreat, because hey, remember my last one? I actually had the diagnosed-with-a-letter flu.

So on Retreat Take #2, I finished my first draft of my book on spiritual life skills for messy families. This is a serious win. And on my next-level personal edit, I’ve got two chapters to go.

I can’t tell if my heart races because I’m thrilled or petrified. Mostly both.

Would you pray for me?

2. We’re simplifying.

My husband just finished a handful of books like John Comer’s The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World.

I also finished Shauna Niequist’s Present over Perfect: Leaving behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living, during which I bought it for, like, three friends.

There’s a theme of essentialism working its way through the two us: saying the right no’s with our stuff and our schedules and our hurry and our grocery list.

We gave away maybe 11 bags of stuff after the new year, and are prying holes in our schedule big enough to pray in, breathe in.

I pretty much love it. And there’s a lot more to go.

3. I’m working harder to combat burnout.

As I thought through my evaluation of 2019 (try it!),  some of the adjectives I wrote down included surprising. Packed.  Hopeful.

And thumb through my red journal and you’ll find ways I want to respond to God in 2020:

• greater courage
• more present with myself, others, and God
• do less
• self-nurture
• more consistent spiritual disciplines with my kids
• simplicity
• playing with my kids

Shoot. Now I probably have to really do these.

Part of this means I’m going to try to actually listen to my body and what’s going on in my mind/heart a little more. I call it “soul care”. Maybe it will look like this for me:

• delegating
• not initiating an act of service when I predict resentment
• stop working around the house by 8:30 PM
• stopping work to eat and actually taste stuff
• taking my son out for sushi

4. Halfway through 2020, three-quarters of my kids will be teenagers.

Part of me loves it: Conversations about stuff that matters. Each of them ferretting out what makes them tick. Laughing at jokes they finally get and make. (My kids are funny.)

And part of me just gets a little tired and scared. Raising kids is hard, people.

5. #cancersucks

(Man, do I have a potty mouth today.) A close friend was recently diagnosed with Stage 4. You don’t really know someone, probably, till you hear them vomit. But cancer, particularly when the bearer has kids, is just hard all over.

This is part of my life right now, as much as I would like to cross you out, #5.

6. Presence.

This is one of the words God is forming in my husband and I. I wrote last year about being undistractedly all there with other people, starting with being present with God.

It didn’t make last year’s Top Ten. That’s cool with me. But it was one of those posts where I felt like, This. This is what God’s doing in me.

7. Finding my place here, where God put me.

Thankfully, there was a moment last year when I was literally kayaking in the Red Sea, and tears started rolling down my face into the salt water. My arms felt powerful, but I realized at last I felt a healthy source of agency, too.

I’d just received the contract from Zondervan. I was doing what felt like valuable work with our organization, Engineering Ministries International, (EMI) that I believed in. I’d soon be speaking at a women’s retreat. I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time after returning from Africa.

And a lot of that was because I felt purposeful. After a long night, I seemed to be seeing a radiating tip of sunlight.

8. My husband is thriving.

He hit a milestone birthday this year (the big 2-0! Not really). And man, does it look good on him.

Physically, spiritually, emotionally, relationally–he’s established a lot of (formerly, occasionally) elusive self-discipline. He listens to people and sits with them. He plays Jokers and Marbles with the kids and goes out to coffee with the guys. I hardly know what to say.

I thought my respect for him was high before. But he’s knocking it out of the park.

It’s a gift to watch someone you love flourish. That’s all.

9. Things I’m liking

Grocery pickup, where have you been all my life?

Henna. While on my trip in Egypt, a street vendor used it on my forearm, and I loved it. I purchased supplies online  mess around with it on girls willing to give it a try.

I got a robot vacuum on Black Friday; it was the same cost as the vacuum I needed. His name is Baby Shark. Vacuum tracks by 8:30 AM make me feel like I’m starting with a victory, even when it sucks up someone’s earbuds.

I have discovered I really like my house to smell good. I’ve made an essential oils blend of Lavender, Roman Chamomile, Clary Sage, Ylang-Ylang, and Geranium. (Only the cheap oils, because I am by definition sort of a cheapskate.) I drip them into my cheap-o diffuser.

I stopped drinking milk at night in my decaf, and stopped snoring. Go figure.

I got a pair of used cowboy boots on Poshmark. They make me feel sassy when I wear them with a skirt and shaved legs.

10. 365 Devotional.

Since June, I’ve been heading up a project for FamilyLife: a 365-day emailed devotion series for couples. It’s witty and fresh, and I have a great team of writers. Sometimes I feel like I’m writing with my hair on fire–but that doesn’t mean I don’t like it.

If you want, check this one out–“He had a Skinny Mom”, by my friend Ashley. There’s a tiny link where you can subscribe in the lower right corner of the clicked link.

There you go. We just sort of had a cup of coffee.

Thanks, readers. For just being there.