Sometimes my microwave feels like a microcosm of my life.
To clarify: Not like this cute, peaceful stock photo.
See, I’m not what you’d call a super-clean person. I generally like things cleaned up. One of us makes our bed. I feel a little twinge with dirty dishes in the sink.
But an ooky microwave? It just brings a girl down.
I have tried the BPA-free splatter-guard. I have instructed my children to clean up whatever messes they have made, now that they’re tall enough. Even though somehow, they do not see the Jackson-Pollock flair of spaghetti sauce across the microwave ceiling. (It’s red, people.)
But sometimes, my life just blows up.
It spits all over the place, and I am the Keeper of the Box. Not because it’s my mess, but because it’s my microwave.
Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m cleaning up. I just know I need–maybe a jackhammer. Or one of those cool tricks, like a bowl of vinegar.
Sometimes my metaphorical ParentTrick Bag is empty, or at least my Parent Energy Bag. And I can only rest my forehead on the edge and wish for an unsullied cup of tea.
I don’t know what your 2020 microwave, so to speak, looks like. I don’t know if something’s blown up, or if you’re just trying to not have cold coffee.
So here’s what I’m suggesting. Heat up the coffee, and maybe add a dollop of whipped cream, if you’re sure it’s not growing anything from its stint in the fridge.
Take a few of those costly, quiet moments. Take a few of them to just be.
Clean Questions: A Prayer of Examen for the New Year
Let’s evaluate your “microwave” (hey, a girl’s gotta have a metaphor) and clean house a little.
First, consider going through a yearly Prayer of Examen; this article makes it pretty easy, and workable for whatever time you’ve got. Stephen Smith has a more in-depth version, if you want to marinate in this a bit.
I’ve talked about a daily Examen before, because I’ve warmed up (see what I did there?) to this idea of watching for God in my day, of noticing him and listening. I like the idea of beginning my year breathing gratitude, and remembering who holds these next 12 months, this next decade.
I completed a short, I-didn’t-know-this-was-a-thing version of the yearly Examen. I filled up a couple of sheets of paper with what I could remember about each month.
It explained some of the things I was sensing inside (um. Like some impending burnout). It helped me turn my eyes to all that went right, too. And some themes of who I wanted to be in 2020; ways I wanted to respond to God.
The Warm-Up
If this is your jam, let me throw you a few more questions for you to spin around. (I can’t stop!)
What ways would I like to respond to God this year?
What words would I use to describe the person I’d like to grow in?
(Presence. Courage. Less hurried.)
What’s one way I could love people more deeply this year?
What’s one way I’d love to grow as a parent? As a spouse?
What words would I use to describe last year, positive and/or negative?
What ways did I see God change me last year? Are there ways I drifted from him?
What is one sin of mine I’ve minimized for too long, that’s been more destructive than I care to admit? What do I want to do about it?
Are there long-term goals I’d like to take steps toward?
(Simplicity has been one for my husband and I. And realizing we only have seven years with kids at home, we’re re-prioritizing.)
Is there someone I need to reconcile with?
What area of my life feels the least healthy right now?
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Relationships?
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Physical health?
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Having space to be with God or people?
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Rest?
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Parenting?
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Body image?
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Exploring the way I’m made?
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Relationships with extended family?
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Sharing Jesus with people?
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[Fill in the blank]?
However you do this–do make the space. Choose to be with God, and reflect on how far you’ve come and where you’re going in 2020 and even further than that.