More Reasons to Play with Your Kids (Like, Now)

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rQuestion. Are you the “fun” parent?

Spoiler: I am not the fun parent. I am the you-had-your-medicine-on-time-and-had-clean-underwear parent. Well, I was fun in the educational sense; I was, to be fair, a really engaging and creative homeschooler.

But if you want Chik-fil-A, grab a movie, and/or wrestle on the rug, go see Dad.

Which is a bit of a bummer. Because among the many reasons to play with your kids, it’s so often in play that kids feel connected to us.

My own mom, bless her overworked soul, was a farmwife when I was born. When she wasn’t disemboweling a chicken or cleaning manure off the carpet, she was making three squares for a hungry farmer and his hired hand, or digging in the garden. She was always checking all the boxes and then some.

But I cherish memories of her coloring with me, or making play-dough from scratch, or traipsing down to the creek once a week to read stories and enjoy a picnic on the chenille blanket.

Surprisingly powerful play: Scientific reasons to play with your kids

So let’s talk reasons to play with your kids. Maybe you’ve heard that babies whose parents play with them have better cognitive development, and later show improved language and math skills.

And playing with our kids communicates simple presence. One pediatrics journal notes,

The interactions that occur through play tell children that parents are fully paying attention to them and help to build enduring relationships. Parents who have the opportunity to glimpse into their children’s world learn to communicate more effectively with their children and are given another setting to offer gentle, nurturing guidance. Less verbal children may be able to express their views, experiences, and even frustrations through play, allowing their parents an opportunity to gain a fuller understanding of their perspective. Quite simply, play offers parents a wonderful opportunity to engage fully with their children.

Elsewhere, the same journal reports that play “allows parents to ‘listen’ in a very different, but productive, way … Above all, the intensive engagement and relaxed interactions that occur while playing tell children that their parents are fully paying attention to them and, thereby, contribute to a strong connection.”

In a distracted world, play offers our kids the rare gift of full attention. (Don’t miss Presence: Ideas to be All There with Your Kids.)

Even apart from playing with parents, we know God’s designed play to help kids develop

(Did you know that, in part due to these, play has been internationally recognized as a human right for every child?)

My latest reasons to play with your kids (and does God…play?)

But here are the most recent reasons to play with your kids I’m mulling over lately: That is, why it matters to climb into your child’s tent and have a pretend cup of tea. Or pull on a tutu and a tiara when they’re playing dress up. Or smear flour on your nose and act like you have no idea it’s there.

(Am I the only one thankful you don’t have to be adult-level witty to be hilarious for a child?)

God created dolphins and tiger cubs, squirrels and puppies. He even crafted a sea monster to play (that’s verbatim) in the sea (Psalm 104:25-26). Creation is described as God playing, to his delight, with wisdom (Proverbs 8:29-31).

He made cartwheels and laughing until milk comes out your nose. And to kids’ delight, farting.

You have to imagine he loves watching our kids have a good time even more than we do. (Curious about the playfulness of God? This post fascinated me.)

And here’s what I see: Play holds a little packet of the Gospel.

It says that God’s love gets a kick out of us even when it’s not earned (Psalm 149:4, Isaiah 62:4, Hebrews 12:2). He sings over us, people (Zechariah 3:17).

Jesus came to us and died for us for many of the same reasons that play is awesome. Both say,

You are more than what you do. There is joy to be had about you. You are to be adored.

…And tickled until you snort.

I explored in this infographic the idea that kids are helpless, powerless, resume-less, dependent, trusting, and without social status. They don’t hold back their love. They’re undignified. They contribute very little to society, other than the fact they are ours.

And sorta cute. Most of the time.

Yet God requires we adults whose days are just packed...become like them (Matthew 18:3).

Is fun as hard as it looks?

I asked moms this week for their “fun parent” ideas–whether to be script-disrupters on those days when every single person in your household has the grumps, or just to connect with their child.

They talked about

Pretending to make their kids into a pizza–rolling them out, putting sauce on them, throwing them in the “oven” (the couch).
Giving their kids a scavenger hunt.
On April Fool’s Day, serving hot dogs for breakfast and cereal for lunch.
Putting a bowl on their head from the dishwasher.
Playing hide and seek.
Playing that one board game that feels like it goes on for-ev-er.

In my experience? The hardest part of playing with your kids is just putting down the dish towel and getting started.

The hardest part of playing with your kids is just putting down the dish towel and getting started. Share on X

But as for the benefits–those might just be eternal.

Aslan leaped again. A mad chase began. Round and round the hill-top he led them, now hopelessly out of their reach, now letting them almost catch his tail, now diving between them, now tossing them in the air with his huge and beautifully velveted paws and catching them again, and now stopping unexpectedly so that all three of them rolled over together in a happy laughing heap of fur and arms and legs.

It was such a romp as no one has ever had except in Narnia, and whether it was more like playing with a thunderstorm or playing with a kitten Lucy could never make up her mind.

C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe