When my four kids were little and life resembled a 24-hour Bounty commercial, I read a statistic in Parents magazine that something like 78% of new moms, when choosing between sex and sleep, chose sleep.
Um. Duh.
(And to the other 22%: Please divulge your secret.)
I needed a REM cycle so badly I probably shouldn’t have been operating our Cheerio-infested minivan. As soon as my body got horizontal, wild horses couldn’t stop my eyes from closing, as long as said horses had clean pants.
Now that I have kids old enough to both bathe themselves and pour themselves copious amounts of chips and salsa, it’s easier to prize and cultivate the gift of sex to my marriage.
Like money or time, sex is a microcosm of any marriage. It was true when our kids were young, too, amplifying my burnout and my husband’s and my need to sacrifice for each other in a thin season.
But even then, our marriage needed sex.
I needed my husband to completely see and gently welcome my postpartum body, granting tenderness to all the overused, newly sagging parts.
I needed him to say in ways more than words, You are desirable to me even when you feel like you have nothing left to give. Let me focus on your needs and pleasure for this sliver of your day.
And personally, even when short people wanted something from me around the clock, I needed to open-handedly offer my last drop of energy to my husband and reiterate, Your needs and our connectedness still matter. We still take priority, floating here on this sea of apple juice.
So I’ve thought about this lately–about why our marriages need sex. I’ve written a couple of other articles too for FamilyLife.com.
But let’s just say I knew which one would at least make you read to this point…?
Why Your Marriage Needs Sex
In thin, exhausted places, it’s oh-so-easy for sex to freefall down the priority list. But could our marriages need sex more than we think?
Help! Different Values Are Blowing Up My Family
Different values aren’t just “out there.” If your house is anything like mine, these values are clashing over the dinner table. (Pass the salt.)
Amidst all your loss and hurt, can family conflict grow you stronger?
It can be tough to connect with a child who’s different from you in their interests, passions, even their core. How can you close the gap?
Like this post? You might like
Parenting Podcasts and Articles: A Few of the Latest
“Help! I want sex more than he does!”: Strategies for the Higher-libido Wife
Mini-date! Mastering the Art of Quick Connections
Marriage Myth: If I’m amazing enough, my spouse will want me right. Now.
