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move toward

So this past weekend was the community garage sale in my small town. Though I’m really aspiring to greater simplicity, a community garage sale is my kryptonite.

I was super-excited about a necklace I found. But when I paired the necklace with a bracelet I’d nabbed for $.50, my husband’s eyebrow cocked. Not a good sign.

“I just can’t get away from the superhero vibe,” he confessed.

What do you think?

…In response to which my friend texted me something like this:

She and I agreed: I should consider a pair of blue underwear with stars. (Maybe not a garage sale find for that one?)

But to bring this to my point: We all wish we could be world-changers. Stronger than we are. Men and women who move toward. It would be easy if this came in $.50 bracelet form, please.

And honestly, I want to raise world-changers–despite the realities I live with, who tend to prefer the XBox. Because moving toward isn’t our natural response.

I Nominate You to Approach the Crazy Naked Guy

Recently an author pointed out to me an interesting line in the Mark 5 story of the man possessed by demons. It’s not as if the story doesn’t have enough interest:

He lived among the tombs. And no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain, 4 for he had often been bound with shackles and chains, but he wrenched the chains apart, and he broke the shackles in pieces. No one had the strength to subdue him. 5 Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones.

The interesting part?

Jesus is the only one mentioned getting out of the boat.

Now, perhaps this isn’t surprising. Imagine the twelve disciples playing rock-paper-scissors: Who wants to go confront the naked, possessed guy who howls at the moon? 

Honestly: I wouldn’t have gotten out. No matter what bracelet I was wearing.

The Opposite of Moving Toward

The same author, Jan Johnson–in my newest-favorite devotional, Meeting God in Scripture: A Hands-On Guide to Lectio Divina–points out Jesus’ impetus for the three stories describing God–one who will move toward–which he tells in Luke 15 (the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the prodigal son).

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. 2 And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”

Johnson asks the reader about the difference between the attitude of the Pharisees and the heart of the shepherd, who goes after the lost sheep. What are they each eager to do?

Here’s what I’m seeing:

PHARISEES SHEPHERD
disdain responsible; “brother’s keeper”
status-upholding; separation from “sinners” compassion
superiority sacrifice
self-righteousness protection
self-protection joy in repentance

So that brings me to my question. Am I raising shepherds who get out of the boat and walk toward the scary others? 

Author Pauses Over the Obvious Tricky Part

This is tough, as parents who rightly want to protect our kids. Do we send our kids directly into danger?

Well, we measure it.

  • Getting into a car = usually worth it
  • Eating sugar = worth it, in reasonable amounts
  • Going to public school = [gotcha! Depends on the parent]
  • Sending you to college = worth it
  • Placing a loaded weapon in the hands of your 4-year-old = stick with Nerf/water guns only

But you don’t send your toddler to college. You gradually raise a child who is, one hopes, ready to be launched into…well, all the things we remember about college in a little too much technicolor.

One mom once told me she wouldn’t send her kids to the homeless shelter to volunteer with their dad, because the kids might say something awkward, e.g. “You smell.”

This feels surmountable, and to me, worth the risk. You talk in the car beforehand: “What should we not say, that could hurt someone?”

Without the baby steps, we can’t get to kids who move toward.

Start Here: Raising Kids (not Superheroes) Who Move Toward

I’m saying this. In baby steps, move toward the kind of people some Christians/humans might find scary. Sinners. Or just different.

  • Have people different than your family over for dinner. (New to this? International students are a great place to start.)
  • Invite your kids to volunteer with you when you work with the marginalized. (Not doing that? Take the first baby step out of your comfort zone.) Grab this post on Expanding Your Heart for the Nations Right Where You’re At. 
  • Strike up a conversation with diverse members of your community: the cashier, the janitor, the immigrants with a child in your child’s class. (Try starting by thanking them for their work.)
  • Pray for opportunities (with your child, or on your own) for people who can increase your child’s heart to move toward the marginalized.
  • When your child is frustrated about a relationship at school, after taking time for empathy for your child, gently help them compassionately consider that person’s needs beneath the surface–and how your child could respond with kindness in the face of insult.
  • Ask your child, “Who’s most likely to be left out or struggling in your class?” Pray for that person by name, and for ways to help.
  • Posts to read with discussion starters and ideas:
  • Check out this kids’ book list on compassion!

This week, would you commit with me to taking the next little step to raise kids who move toward? Promise I’ll wear my bracelet.

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