So speaking of awkward conversations: Asking for ideas to honor your husband might float over some girlfriends like a lead balloon.
Given male-female relations in the headlines, looking to honor your husband might arch some eyebrows. It’s far more acceptable for men to be pro-women—or women to be pro-women!—than sticking in his corner.
Won’t that promote toxic masculinity or something? Shouldn’t we be knocking men down a peg?
But honor is a marital jetpack for both spouses.
Serving Each Other: Not a New Thing
In Tied Up in Knots: How Getting What We Want Made Women Miserable, columnist and political analyst Andrea Tantaros argues,
There is a common thread between the genders: it’s kindness, respect, and mutual admiration.
.…Women are implicitly being told not to be kind, thoughtful, and nice to the men they love because doing so is supposedly just one step away from being barefoot and pregnant and watching Leave It to Beaver.
.…Acts of service has been a love language—a way to express affection—since time immemorial.
….If everybody is self-involved in their own happiness, then everyone is going to be unhappy because no one is going to be doing nice things for anyone.
In my own marriage, honor creates a biosphere where mutual care and consideration thrive. My husband just walked downstairs and thanked me for making the bed this morning; often he does it, or we do it together.
But before the verse commanding us to “Outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10), there’s a short, killer phrase: “Let love be genuine” (verse 9).
So honor isn’t a way to manipulate him. Or pacify him. Or subtly slot myself above him in spiritual superiority.
It’s a way to put the Gospel on repeat between us: that Jesus honored us to the point of washing his Bride’s feet and giving his life for her when she didn’t deserve it.
(I’m not advocating the kind of blind submission that leads to an abusive relationship. Wondering if that’s you? See Are You In an Abusive Relationship?)
Hop over to FamilyLife.com to check out In His Corner: 32 Ways to Honor Your Husband where I’m offering some practical, doable, suggestions. (You might also want to check out this podcast episode, What if My Husband Doesn’t Deserve Respect?)
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