Homeschool: Should I Try It This Fall? (From a Reluctant Mom)

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It’s a conversation I’ve had with at least three parents in the last week who shared something in common with a version of myself back in the day: We didn’t really see ourselves as homeschool parents.

(FYI, I homeschooled until my family returned from living in Africa. All four transitioned well–though not seamlessly–to public school.)

Ten years ago, I was a reluctant homeschooler.

I have friends and family members as public school administrators and teachers who are stellar at what they do–and there’s a reason they’re well-trained in their jobs. But 2020 is a unique season where parents choosing remote learning may struggle to find kids engaged (especially pre-readers).

What should you consider?

Reasons I didn’t see myself pursuing homeschool

I’d known some socially…awkward homeschooled kids.
I had no desire to raise my kids in a bubble. (Hello, 2020.) I wanted other voices and experiences in my kids’ lives.
I believed in raising kids who would show Jesus in relevant ways to kids and teachers in the public school system.
My husband and I had great experiences in public school.

Reasons homeschool happened anyway (much to my own sincere surprise)

Our school district left a lot to be desired. My oldest showed signs of accelerated learning.
To bus into another school district would add at least 2.5 hours to his day as a kindergartner–on a bus with mostly older kids.
Books cast a vision for me as the primary soul-shepherd/discipler of my kids, particularly at critical, vulnerable young ages–and the creative ways I could teach them hands on. I was just starting to glimpse my capacity as a creative teacher.
I read of the specific ways boys learn–and the particularly high levels (am I remembering 90%?) of school discipline involving boys.

Michael Gurian writes,

Boys receive up to 70% of the Ds and Fs given all students, they create 90% classroom discipline problems, most high school dropouts are boys, millions of American boys are on Ritalin and other mind-bending control drugs, only 41% of college students are boys, and three out of four learning disabled students are boys.

I began to beef up on hands-on, boy-friendly learning. (Some schools do this very well!)

My second son was diagnosed with two learning disorders. Though many schools are well-equipped to handle these, I wasn’t going to live by them (see next point)–and ended up loving the individualized education options. It just required my willingness to log the long hours to educate myself on how to help him in ways similar to a specialist (find some of the most helpful books to me on ADHD here).
We moved to Africa. (So that happened.)

Reasons I ended up loving it

I don’t feel like my kids’ childhood evaporated before my eyes–nor did I get the dregs of their day after schooling and busing for 7-8 hours.

(On the one day per week my son came home from first-grade co-op, he needed a wide berth. Turns out it took a lot of energy to sit in a desk and try to behave all day. He was a crank.)

Homeschooling in their early years was a critical time to establish a vital foundation of discipleship for my kids.
My kids soared in ways they were gifted, and slowed down in ways they weren’t.
They pursued subjects unique to their interests: Zoology, Chess, Greek.
Top-notch friends surrounded my kids as I partnered with other moms who shared character-driven values.
I was aware of my kids’ character issues. Homeschool meant addressing them head-on, rather than those issues camouflaged in a herd.
It was easier to feed the flame of my kids’ engagement with their learning.
I have invaluable memories with my kids! They snuggled under my arms as we learned to read. We played math board games and card games on the floor. Science experiments unfolded on the porch; we sketched maps in sidewalk chalk. The kids strung across the room a homemade flag garland of the countries of the world; created picture timelines of history on string several feet below. We jumped on the trampoline during spelling.

(NOTE: Don’t shy away from homeschooling if you feel you lack creativity. Every homeschool parent’s DNA is different, and many curricula can help supplement areas of weakness. Look for programs that compensate, but with which you remain comfortable.)

At the time, I did wonder if I should be doing other things with my time. Now that three of my kids are teenagers, I don’t regret those years for a minute.

How Homeschool Changed Me

- I learned things about myself I’d never known. If I hadn’t been pressed to find hands-on, engaging learning, there would be no book coming out next Marc h! My son’s learning disorder also pressed me to become a more creative, loving teacher. These methods helped me teach other early-childhood teachers and later refugees in Uganda.

I grew in patience and the love of being around my kids.
I learned so much I’d never learned in my own education.

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Reasons you might not want to homeschool (even for a semester)

Grading. Bleccchhh.
If the easiest way to homeschool for you is to buy a curriculum made, say, entirely of workbooks, consider that even remote virtual learning may provide your kids more of an engaging educational experience that helps them “get the bug” for learning. In schooling, you’re building their mind more than checking a box.

Some programs can still engage a student with less involvement from a parent. Do your homework, m’kay?

“Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”

Your work schedule isn’t flexible.
Homeschool would create such friction between you and that child–you know the one–that they actually might see less of Jesus’ love between you.
Your child is an extrovert who would be significantly discouraged by, say, only frequent playdates or hangouts.
Your unique child would succeed more, right now (holistically speaking) in a school environment.
It’s highly stressful for you to administrate a number of activities at once.
Your child would succeed more in an environment that gives more structure than you can provide at home–or you struggle to control your child.
You didn’t enjoy your own school experience, weren’t a great student, and/or don’t like/excel in teaching. (I am not one of those parents who thinks homeschooling is for everyone…and have seen my share of parents who weren’t great homeschoolers.)

This is a time to pray for God’s generous wisdom (James 1:5-6), eschew fear (2 Timothy 1:7), and look at yourself and your kids with sober judgment (Romans 12:3).

Where should I start if I want to check this homeschool thing out for a semester?

Homeschooling has changed a lot since I started a decade ago! But I love what I’m seeing with programs like Timberdoodle and Reading Eggs. (Brand-new and worried about knowing what to do each day or your kids keeping up? Research all-in-one curricula.)

My kids used online Teaching Textbooks for math, and I personally loved Classical Academic Press’ Writing and Rhetoric, as well as Peace Hill Press’ Story of the World (my kids listened to this history-as-a-children’s-book while playing Legos).

Find 50 CREATIVE IDEAS TO HOMESCHOOL PRESCHOOL-1ST GRADERS

Consider your child as a whole, making sure they’ll have social outlets–perhaps even using your school’s homeschooling program.

Because my kids are self-driven (excelling in the Educational Spring Weirdness of 2020), are reluctant to school in masks, and are in middle/high school, we’re giving some thought to government-funded, entirely online programs (like Edgenuity or K12–since we’re only required to commit for a school quarter here. (You can do anything for nine weeks, right?)

Make sure you research your state’s guidelines for registering your kids as homeschoolers, and keep up with your state’s grade-level standards and testing procedures.

Homeschooling isn’t for every child or every parent! Pray about your reluctance–discerning what’s legit, and what God might have you do for now in courage and wisdom.