So now that I’m a mom of teenagers and all their weirdness, we talk about things like we did last week: Is it okay to date a non-Christian?
This naturally means I have introduced things like oxen into our conversations before (cue the “unequally yoked” verse, 2 Corinthians 6:14). What’s a good dating conversation without lowing livestock?
But it’s easier for them to understand the conveyor belts.
Imagine you’re on one of the conveyor belts for people at the airport. Now, imagine trying to hold hands with someone on the belt headed the opposite way.
How’s that going to work out?
It works for a dating illustration. But that assumes all of me is headed in one direction.
A Hades of Conveyor Belts
Have you ever felt like the conveyor belts inside of you are headed all over the place?
I’ve noticed lately that when I’m not rested–physically, emotionally, and spiritually listening to God’s rhythms and my own limitations–I am more scattered.
And from the perspective of a girl coming from Africa? Americans are scattered a lot.
Now I’m one of them. Huzzah.
I compare this to what, in Hebrew, is known as the shema (pronounced she-MA), the most important Jewish prayer. Here’s the beginning:
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. (Deuteronomy 6:4-5)
It fascinates me that God is described, of all things, as one. He is utterly unified.
And then we are commanded to be utterly unified, loving God with all of us.
Nope. This is not me
Compare this to verses describing us as double-minded, like James 1:8–describing the person who doesn’t have faith. I see one conveyor belt motoring this person to obey God, and one delivering her away.
In fact, later in James, we are told to “purify your hearts, you double-minded” (4:8). In case that seems weird–linking purity with double-mindedness–think of gold. Purified gold is one substance.
Like God. (i.e, Not like yours truly.)
The Push/Pull of Stress
Observation: I am stressed by my desires pushing me in different ways. By demands I care about, pulling me–Supermom Wannabe–nearly apart. Like Gumby in mom jeans.
From one supermom wannabe to another: With all this, it is hard to do things wholeheartedly.
When I am with my children, I may not fully be with them. I may not be enjoying it because I wish I could be sleeping, or might be anxious about finishing all my client wants me to do.
(Ever felt like you’re different people when you’re with different groups of friends? You’re getting this.)
I’m the classic example of “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other…” (Matthew 6:24).
My conveyor belts are headed all over the place, and usually away from each other–maybe with a confused kid holding a teddy bear on one.
Stress–and Compensation
In Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership, Ruth Haley Barton quotes a doctor who explains how many fewer tests he orders when he has rest.
The doctor explains that when he hasn’t rested, his intuition feels off. He wonders what he’s missing. He orders more tests to compensate.
Anyone else do this? In momspeak, throwing activities up on their schedule without intentionality or thought?
Here’s the caveat of all of this: Rest will not make me unified.
Until heaven, I will not be driven by one desire, into all the right directions.
I will always be sacrificing something to pursue the higher desire.
Like an Olympian who doesn’t buy chips at the grocery store, I have to say the right no’s to get to the right yeses. (If I go to the store hungry, my cart is likely to be full of a whole lotta Ruffles.)
Supermom Allure
But I do think Western culture exaggerates this in us, with its smorgasboard of ways to satisfy our appetites.
Part of the allure of the Supermom is to do it all. Have the meaningful career, thriving kids, authentic friends, toned body, chic wardrobe, magazine-perfect house, intimate marriage, Pinterest-perfect birthday parties, rejuvenating hobbies.
If I may put it delicately? That, my friends, is a Supermom crock.
These women, myself among them all too often, will be stressed because they have, like, 42 conveyor belts.
But God’s solution is not less desires. It’s to love Him with all of myself; all my desires (see the shema). My whole heart.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name. (Psalm 86:11)
One conveyor belt. One direction.
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