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Do you remember the first time you wondered if God really was good?

I can’t say I remember the first. But I have to admit to you that it’s a constant decision of mine: to choose truth and trust. It was Eve’s issue too, right? Questioning the purity of God’s motives; her created brain and heart tossing around the idea that maybe he’s the one who’s lying.

This year you’ve read as I’ve wrestled with God here and there. Like Jacob, it’s left parts of me dislocated now and again. But there is too much evidence that he is who he says. And honestly, there are too many parts of me that are false and undeveloped and limited in sight: Let God be true and every man a liar (Romans 3:4).

I don’t know what prayers of yours feel unanswered, or in which you’ve received a flat-out no. But as I continue to come back to my questions of unanswered prayer–things that I was so certain God would want too–I’m scrawling some memos to anchor me when I just want to lean on my own seven-pound brain understanding of the world.

If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust?

If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate?

As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing. You’re at least decent to your own children.

So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?

Matthew 7:9-11

memos to myself when god says no infographicPRINT IT HERE.