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If you’re new to the love languages concept, check out the 5 Love Languages website. Click here for 20 ways to express love through words of affirmation, here for the post on expressing love through physical touch. and here for the post on expressing love through gift-giving.

I’ll use “him” or “her” interchangeably in this post for ease of reading.

1.Knock out that item on her to-do list she just hasn’t gotten to.
2.What little touches could better make your home a “prepared place”–like God creates for us–that’s comforting, encouraging, and uplifting, so family and guests feel embraced? For guests, it may be the basket of extra toiletries next to the cozy towel in the bathroom; for kids, you could have a favorite snack ready when he arrives home; help him remove his backpack.

3.Rub his feet, or give a massage (also great for the love language of physical touch–but the act of service itself will be what sticks out to this recipient!).
4.Let her sleep in awhile on a Saturday morning while you get up with the kids and make her a cup of coffee to greet her when she rises.
5.Get his car detailed.
6.Take care of errands for her. And when you’re at the store, call home and see what you could pick up for her.
7.Pitch in with the tasks that are usually your spouse’s in your typical division of labor–the yard, the dishes, the cooking. Remember: behind this love language is a desire to be seen, appreciated, and helped in one’s work and personal contributions.
8.Free her up to get out for a night to be alone or with friends while you watch the kids.
9.Ask: How can I help? What would make your day/week easier? How could I save you some time this week?
10.Relieve a child of his or her chores on a hard or particularly busy day.
11.Study his daily routine. In what ways could a little help go a long way? Is it bringing the trash can in or out, locking up the house, filing receipts?
12.Much of speaking this love language is simply anticipating ways to step in and make life easier, or to act as teammates in the daily tasks of life.
13.Take the extra steps to attend and/or contribute to that function at school.
14.What could you do to facilitate your spouse’s relationships, even those at work? Would it be helpful to have friends or coworkers over for dinner? Help your spouse to remember to call on birthdays or other events? Send thank-you notes? Set up parent-child dates? Establish a regularly occurring night with friends (game night, guys’ night, girls’ night, etc.)?
15.What tasks does your child or spouse dread? What could you do to relieve their burden (as opposed to enabling)?
16.On a bad day, go the extra mile to create little touches of grace in your interactions with them: making a favorite dessert, keeping the kids occupied and/or quiet for a private moment of rest, cuddling to read a story. (Click here for 31 Ideas to Encourage Your Child on a Bad Day.)
17.If there’s a specific way your spouse or child likes something (again, without enabling or perpetuating poor behavior problems), work to acknowledge their preferences.
18.What are the to-do’s your spouse or child might be forgetting? Think of ways to gracefully remind them or step in.
19.Get the oil changed, the checkbook balanced–or whatever that item is that niggles until it can’t be put off any longer.
20.Seek to be the chief “servant” in your home. If something needs to be done, step up; think of what your spouse needs to do before he or she can rest or sit down. Model a life for your children that’s poured out, from love, on others.