Guest post: Did you marry the wrong person?

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Guest post: Did you marry the wrong person?

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Maybe you’re in a position right now making it particularly difficult to see why you’re married to him. Or her.

Truth: I didn’t marry the kind of guy I thought I would.

I’m guest posting at Marriage Revolution today. Check it out: Did you marry the wrong person?

Tags:
love
marriage

About author

Janel Breitenstein is the author of Permanent Markers: Spiritual Life Skills to Write on Your Kids’ Hearts (Harvest House, 2021), plus a few more in the pipeline—including IRL Parent Prayers (Andrews McMeel) and The Cool Mom: Putting Anger on Ice When Life Boils Over (Kregel). Her work can be found on Christianity Today, Focus on the Family, and FamilyLife. She graduated summa cum laude from John Brown University and began her career with NavPress, where she worked on The Message Bible. She then moved to FamilyLife Publishing. In January of 2012, Janel and her husband packed up their family of six and moved to Uganda to serve with Engineering Ministries International (eMi), an organization focusing on poverty relief and development, providing structural design and construction management for Christian organizations in the third world. After five and a half years there in East Africa, she and her family returned to the U.S., where they continue to work on behalf of the poor. She speaks, writes, and loves on her family from Colorado. Her fresh, authentic, intimate style connects with readers around the globe. You can find her—“The Awkward Mom”—having uncomfortable, important conversations at JanelBreitenstein.com.

2 Comments

Kim - 9 years ago

Before marriage my husband acted like he was extremely attracted to me sexually. Then he began gas lighting me with excuses and accusations that I’m abnormal. He refuses to get help or to try and please me.
His resentment makes it unhappy for me if he does acquiesce. I have no Biblical grounds for divorce so I’m stuck. To make matters worse I have a high sex drive. I’m asking God to take it away. It keeps coming back and hurts. I have taken supplements to get rid of it. I thought about surgery but am embarrassed to ask for it. Any suggestions?
reply
- Janel - 9 years ago
  
  Kim, my heart breaks for you. Sounds like you’re in such a painful, if not hurt and angry, place. Wish we could have a coffee, look each other eyeball-to-eyeball, and I could hear more of your story.
  
  I’m so sorry.
  
  I have a few resources that could help, including this post I wrote for FamilyLife.com: https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/romance-and-sex/what-if-i-want-sex-more-than-my-husband-does/
  
  But I do think ultimately–if I can take the liberty of reading between the lines?–sounds like sex could be the symptom, and perhaps not the root issue. (Is that right?)
  
  At the risk of this sounding the wrong way, I would suggest reaching out to a Christian counselor (I’ve been in counseling for years now, and I’m not ashamed to recommend it). Even if your husband would refuse to go with you, I do think you might find some valuable help for you to cope with what sounds like a frustrating situation where I’m getting the vibe you feel a little trapped (from your desire toward divorce).
  
  I write this with trepidation, not knowing enough about you or your situation to know how this will hit you. But know that I feel a great deal of compassion for you, Kim, and that I’m praying for you right now.
  reply